‘I do’ means I will.  ‘I do’ means I choose you.

And it’s in God’s great kindness that he bring that person into our lives, our person.

It’s in his providence & by his provision that he gives us exactly what we need.  More that we could ever ask or imagine.

the conflict is hardly ever about what the conflict is about.  

There is often the event that sparks the conflict.

But behind the event, there is an issue that the event brings to light.

And behind the issue is often a deeper, underlying issue.

Connection is an art, a skill to be honed, one that is well worth the time, dedication and energy required.

It’s rewards are great for those who are willing to learn and practice the art.  

Because when we disagree, I am challenged with my own beliefs, perceptions and realities.

Because when we have differences, we connect and understand in deeper ways that we could ever have hoped to without the differences that make us who we are.

Conflict is an inevitable part of relationships and marriage.

But contrary to what we may have always believed and feel, conflict does not mean that something is wrong with your marriage.

when money is on the table, literally, and the tension grows, take a deep breath, remember that you are on the same team and look beyond the money on the table.  

in a thousand ways, we have failed our vows and failed one another, I have never known a more relentless love & unending grace on this earth than I have in marriage.  

The words we wrote to one another 5 years ago are our life’s work because when we said ‘I do’ we said ‘I will.’

Whether it’s with your girlfriends or on instagram, how much is too much to share when it comes to real life relationships?

We are continually confronted with decisions to make.  Some decisions are easy, some are difficult.  Some we make from our gut because it just feels right, others we make from our frontal lobe where we find our reason and logic live.

Whatever decision is made, it is a reflection of our core values.

In the multitude of disagreements we’ve experienced in our marriage, we’ve been able to maintain the sense of being on the same team by employing these 3 guidelines.  

Having a mission for your marriage sets a trajectory for it.

A marriage mission defines a purpose and articulates the ‘why’ of your marriage.

anywhere good.  But I was so pissed.    

The split second before I flung the door open and let him have it, I stopped.

‘I am responsible’ were the words that swirled through my head.

I am responsible. Response ABLE

For years its seemed like he was always trying to fix my problems rather than listening to my problems and being sympathetic to my plight. With that one statement, the conversations between my husband and I radically shifted once and for all.

It’s humbling and hard work.  It’s often counterintuitive and countercultural.

But the best way to change your husband is to start by holding the mirror up to yourself. 

It was only when I looked into his eyes that we were able to move together a one.  One dance with two partners with differing steps.

It’s only when you are looking one another in the eyes that you can surrender to the rhythm of the music. 

It’s only when you are looking one another in the eyes that you can dance in step together

And that’s the real issue,  I’m so busy in my mind, fuming over what I have just heard and reloading with all sorts of ammunition to fire back when he’s finished speaking that I never actually listen to what he says.

The blaming game ends when we stop rubbing salt deeper into each other’s wounds and cover them instead with the compassion that will help heal.  

Expectations aren’t innately good or bad, they’re not positive or negative but expectations can easily become negative and damaging to our relationships.   During times of stress and frustration, expectations can cause tremendous conflict between both parties.

There are many areas where we have expectations in our marriage.  Sex is no exception.

3 Ways To Make Sure You’re Not Dominating Your Marriage

He wanted to love me too and give me exactly what I needed that day; he just couldn’t read my mind.

Every girl needs her girls in the same way that every wife needs her people to confide in about marriage and her husband. Conflict, tension, and issues inevitably arise in relationships, and you’re going to need a team. But how do you pick who is on that team?  How do you decide in whom you will confide?

Dreamers and adventurers make the best partners and husbands I’m convinced.  They will always have an idea you haven’t thought about, they will always bring a different perspective to consider and it's impossible not to have fun when you’re with them.  

Boundaries aren’t bad.  In marriage, boundaries are imperative to promote emotional and relational health and provide a frame of safety by which we can know a deeper, richer and truer love.  

The it crept upon us, slowly and without warning.  As the newly wedded bliss faded, we began to impose our expectations on each other, not all at once but subtly, over time.  We harbored resentment when needs went unmet and began imposing shaming tactics. We’d guilt trip each other into complying with our own selfish motives.

There are the days that we don’t give much notice to because they are neither amazing nor particularly challenging. 

But those simple days, the slow mundane ones where you are building a creating your lives and marriage together, those days are filled with such purpose and such simple beauty.

With a simple apology, a little bit of grace, and giving him the benefit of the doubt, a crisis was averted and we didn’t have a big knock down, drag out fight about locking the doors.

I don’t want to keep trying to live in the margins because this life is too beautiful. In a world that is bursting with the boldest colors, glimmering with hope and redemption, squeezing my life into the margins is not that way I want to live it

the moments, no matter how mundane they may seem or feel are ones to cherish because they are continually knitting your hearts together in such a beautiful way