We been working on finishing out our basement which proved to take far longer and a lot more money than we had anticipated (isn’t that how all DIY home improvement projects end up being?!). It was late in the afternoon, I was sweeping up sawdust while my husband, Justin, was nailing down the last few boards, trying to wrap things up when he turned and said ‘Hey Mer, can we just be normal people tonight and sit on our couch and just watch TV or something?’ I laughed because it sounded a little ridiculous but I also knew exactly what he was asking for and what we were both needing that night.
Being a balanced pair of dreamer’s and doer’s is one of my favorite dynamics of our marriage but recently my husband and I realized we needed to slow down just a bit.
We’re kind of those all or nothing people, we’re always working on a project of some sort and we usually have monthly goals we’re working to meet outside of work. All of those things are great but we’d fallen into what we call the ‘next thing trap.’
We’d fallen into the next thing trap by thinking ‘we just need to do ____’ or ‘once we get ____ then _____’ We’ve been there before and it’s not a place we want to live.
When we get caught on ever revolving wheel of the next thing and the next thing we’re running so fast and working so hard that not only are we tried out and worn down but we miss out on the beauty and the sparkle of these days we’re living in right now.
Trust me, my life is probably just like yours, there isn’t anything glamorous per se about my life or our life together. We have a sink full of dirty dishes, laundry waiting to be done and a stack of mail on the kitchen table looks like mostly bills.
But life is so so beautiful and marriage is such a gift and I don’t want to miss out on one second of the sweet gift of life with my husband.
I don’t want us to be running so fast around and around reaching for, working towards and wanting the next thing that we miss out on the moments of these days that we’ll never get back.
I want to hear the sound of the knife to the cutting board as he chops the peppers and onions for omelets in the the morning. I want to smell the aroma of the plumy red wine as the breeze blows gently across the back porch as we sit watching the sun set in the evenings.
I want to smell taste, touch and feel the goodness and beauty of every season we have together.
Every season of life and every season of marriage has so much to offer and so much to teach us.
I don’t want to miss out because we were too busy to slow down and enjoy our days now, no matter how glamorous or mundane they may seem.
Life that is colored by being known and loved by another is bright and beautiful.
The sweetness of grace upon grace in every day moments and struggles of marriage is to powerful to be passed by quickly.
So we’re slowing down a bit these days instead of rushing forward to the next thing and the next thing.
We’re taking a moment before our feet hit the floor in the morning, to realize and fully step into this time and season of our marriage that we will never get back and we’ll never have again.
We’re slowing down to sip our coffee and linger over conversation for a few more minutes.
And we’re finding that there will always be a ‘next thing’ but there will never be these precious moments again.