Saying Yes to Everyone but Each Other


We never consciously started doing it, it just sort of happened.

Life is busy.

It’s easy to keep thinking it’ll slow down eventually.

But it never does.

The jokes on us when we think life will slow down and we’ll have more time.

Let me let you in on a little secret, life doesn’t slow down and life never gets more simple.

Work demands our mental energy.

Previous commitments and obligations demand the margins of our time.

So what we’re left with is the tired out less-than-best versions of ourselves that we offer to the one who we’ve pledged our lives and love to.

My husband and I had the horrible realization (after an argument of course) that recently we’ve put just about everyone and everything before each other.

We didn’t realize that’s what we were doing and of course we never meant to do it, but we did.

He would say ‘yes’ to this person and I would say ‘yes’ to that person.

He had projects to complete while I had my own list of things I wanted to do.

It didn’t take long for us to become those people that the extent of our relationship and connectedness amounted to falling sleepily into bed next to one another at night without as much as a ‘night babe, love you.’

We slept in the same bed together at night while hardly knowing a thing about the others day. 

If you ask anyone who is married, you’ll likely find the answer is the same across the board if you asked who the most important person in the entire world in to them.  ‘My husband’ or ‘my wife’ would quickly be the response.

That’s my answer; my husband is the most important person in this entire world to me.

So why in the world are there days when I say yes to everyone and everything else before I say yes to him?!

So we’re going back to the basics these days.  We’re saying ‘no’ to really good things in order to say ‘yes’ first and foremost to one another.

We’re carving out time, not necessarily massive quantities, but time intentionally allotted to be with the other.

We’re giving our best selves first to one another instead of giving one another the tired out leftover versions of ourselves as we crawl into bed each night.

We’re finding that sweetness we’ve always known but that we often don’t taste when we’re too busy putting everyone and everything else first.

We’re rediscovering that deep sense of belonging and connectedness that you only know when you’ve found and chosen your person.

And we’re coming to know a deeper and truer love that grows in its richness over time.