A Husbands 5 Confessions and 5 Truths About Marriage


A few weeks back I divulged my nitty gritty confessions and truths about marriage and today’s 5 confessions and 5 truths, which are quite amusing, come to you from my one and only.

Sitting at breakfast together one morning at a cafe in Nashville a few years back, my now husband, Justin, asked my dad if he could marry me.  The conversation obviously went well or you would probably not be reading this post.  Since the conversation naturally centered on marriage, he asked my dad to give him a few pointers from his years of experience.

As a man who is very careful and calculated with his words, never one to give surplus advice or speak more than necessary, my dad offered my soon-to-be fiance this pointer.

More often than not, she’s going to be right.’

He listened intently as my dad went on to say ‘no matter how much you may think you’re right, don’t let the intensity of a moment outweigh the truth of what she’s actually saying.’ 

Those were the words of a wise man, who has a wife and four daughters, with experience in more moments charged with great emotional intensity than most people would be able to withstand and still come out alive.

When I initially heard this story and the first part of my dad’s response I thought ‘Yes and amen, good answer dad!’

But the second part spoke volumes of the way my dad had loved me over the years and the way I knew Justin would continue endeavoring to love me.

Their willingness to look past my borderline crazy, and often fierce, moments to see the truth of what I was speaking, left me immensely grateful to be known and loved like that.

So as promised, in the words of one husband, here are. . .

 5 Confessions & 5 Truths about Marriage: Part 2

Confession #1:  I didn’t know how to put words to my feelings, which created lots of conflict with little communication early on in our marriage.

Truth #1:  Naming what I was feeling (shame, fear, anger etc.) goes a lot further than trying to tell Meredith what she did wrong.  Saying ‘I feel _____’ vs. ‘I’m pissed because you did ______’ helps foster communication through understanding & empathy, which can lead to grace, forgiveness, & resolution.

Confession #2: I thought men and women operated off the same definition of ‘tidy.’

Truth #2:  Since communication is one of the cornerstones of a healthy marriage; always seek clarification when your wife says ‘we need to tidy the house up,’ and then mentally prepare yourself for scrubbing the toilet.

Confession #3: I never believed the best about other people, skeptically thinking there was an ulterior motive to what they were saying; thus I assumed everyone believed this about me too.

Truth #3: Despite this belief, I came to find that Meredith’s first thought about me was to believe the best, and not to search for an ulterior motive.

Confession #4: There were a lot of things that I didn’t think were a big deal when we got married because they were just that; little things.

Truth #4:  The thirty extra seconds it takes to rinse the sink once you're done shaving is always worth it.

Confession #5:  If I couldn’t respond quickly and precisely with a rebuttal, I thought the point I was arguing wasn’t as strong as hers.

Truth #5:  There’s nothing sexy about responding quickly.  Although it may feel like your losing ground, the two seconds you wait prior to responding will help you clearly articulate what you actually want to say.