But why can't I tell someone their Enneagram type? I know them really well. . .

Here’s the deal, we all do it. When you’ve learned your type and found how useful the Enneagram can be as a tool for personal, professional, relational and spiritual growth, it’s natural to want to type others to understand them better.

But we shouldn’t and we need to stop.

But why shouldn’t we type other people with the Enneagram?

  1. You’re might to be very wrong

No matter how well you now the person, you could very well be wrong. Yes, we see how people interact and behave but we can’t see their motivations which is what the Enneagram is based off of. We can’t see motivations, all we see are behaviors and it’s important to allow others to name for themselves their underlying motivations.

2. It takes the autonomy way from them

The Enneagram is for self-discovery and we rob people of part of that autonomy when we (even well-meaningly) declare “oh you’re totally a 7!” When tempted to want to tell someone what type you think they are, ask questions instead. Find out what motivates them, what they fear, what makes them feel alive and how they see the world.

3. You may unintentionally box them into a type 

If you tell someone what type you believe the are, sometimes it will arrest that journey of self discovery for them. They will learn about that particular type, act and operate from it and if it’s wrong, their growth and understanding of themselves is naturally going to be limited. With no ill intent, they may be boxed into a type that isn’t their true type based on what you’ve told them.