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The Other Half

Real life that doesn’t make the highlight reel

 
 
 

Welcome, Friend. Let’s journey together through this other half of life.

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There’s no magic, no cure all, no quick fix. It’s as simple & as hard as waking up each day in the body you’re in, breathing in, breathing out, looking in the mirror & choosing to love & accept her just a little more than you did yesterday in a world telling you not to.
I used to internally roll my eyes when people would talk about how sometimes you just have to compromise in marriage - Maybe I was just young & idealistic or just plain stubborn, but I saw having to compromise as somehow losing. - But if you can learn to bend, you’ll never break. And that’s beauty of compromise; that you learn to bend so that you won’t break. - #marriagemonday
Sure, you’ll question but don’t doubt yourself. - Yes, you’ll wonder but don’t consider giving it all up. - There are people changing the game & you’ve got what it takes. - Deep breath, head up, & walk on.
So this is the real story - day started at 4:30am, gym, shower, out the door to my job as an ER nurse.  Spent the day teaching nurses about trauma care.  Changed in my car before speaking at a bloggers event.  Talked to an inspiring group of women about working from alignment, making tradeoffs & how to rest in a world telling us to hustle harder.  Kind of felt like an imposter.  Did they know that I had been working my ‘real job’ all day & that I’m not a full time blogger & writer?  Then I was off again, changed my shoes out for a pair stiletto’s & put on some lipstick, showed up to the Best Of Nashville wearing a $13 @forever21 velvet bodysuit & skirt that I’m pretty sure I got from @tjmaxx when I was in college.  Felt this little voice whisper ‘you are a total fake.’ Walking up the stair case to the @wmarocks I bitched out my sweet husband for a thousand reasons & no reason at all.  I’d felt pretty sad all day, death anniversaries of friends will do that to you, & I’d forced it away to do my job & then show up at events appearing somewhat intact.  My sadness was starting to settle in my chest & I couldn't escape.  I blinked away a few tears.  I reached over & grabbed his hand, our signal that everything is ok & apologized for my moment of bitching.  He asked me if I wanted to talk about anything & I said no I just wanted to have fun with him.  And that's exactly what we did.  We ate the best bites from #bon2018 mini burgers from @burgerup, pizza from @fivepointspizza & banana pudding from @thesouthernsos. We chatted with new friends & reconnected with old ones.  We reminisced & told stories of our lives in Nashville, our favorite city that we were lucky enough to be born in.  When I walked in the front door to our home, I dropped the bags & miscellaneous items I’d gathered from my car, gym bag, work bag with my stethoscope & trauma shears, extra pair of shoes, speaking notes, make up bag.  Dropping it all on the kitchen table I kicked off my shoes, he was hanging up his suit coat, I knelt down to greet our pup & then, unplanned & unprompted, we danced.  Right there in the kitchen, to Etta James & Frank Sinatra. We danced. ⬇️
2 years.  It feels like yesterday & somehow it feels like a different lifetime altogether. - The call, that dull chest ache, that gut punch feeling that leaves you breathless.  Somedays I still can’t believe it. - Life is short & precious.  Laughing across the cafeteria table, dancing at weddings, footballs games & bon fires.  Those are the moments that make life rich & beautiful & the same moments that make the pain sharper & the longing greater. - And yet a deep gratitude is what abides.  Gratitude for those moments together, for the life you lived, the legacy you left. - Can’t wait to see you in heaven Leland
our love isn’t a fairytale or a perfect story but it’s my favorite because challenges & struggle, heartache & questioning, beauty & redemption, grace & love is what the very best stories are made of.
Wouldn’t mind being back on the beach in Jamaica but it’s Friday & I’ll take that
This picture @justinboggs took last week captures the essence of fun for me. - An activity that it done for no other purpose that for enjoyment. It’s pure, simple & uncomplicated. - Sailing on the open water, salt water splashing, sun blazing hot, no clue or care as to what time it was or how long we had been there. That was fun. - Those are the easy moments to have fun, to capture it in an image, to remember they way it felt so full of energy. - But it seems far less easy & far less exciting, mixing smaller moments of fun into the mundaneness of everyday life. - All to often, because it’s not quite as easy or thrilling as sailing on the open waters, I opt for work or productivity or even sleep. - And I don’t want to deprive myself of the moments of fun that each day on this beautiful earth is offering me. - I don’t want to opt to working or checking one more thing off the list when I could have fun, even if fun doesn’t look like sailing on the open waters. - All the little moments that present themselves, I want to take them up & live them out. I want to live & laugh & have fun, thankful for the chance just to be alive in this great big beautiful world