When I looked ahead at the calendar I realized that our anniversary fell on a Wednesday this year and being that Wednesdays are my blog post days I thought I might write something about marriage. If felt fitting. But all that came of that was a bunch of forced words on a page that weren’t fluid and felt insincere. So I decided to scrap that.
We have always been letter writers, since we started dating in high school, so I sat down one morning to write Justin a letter that I would give him on our anniversary and ended up deciding to post the letter as this week’s post which may seem like a strange choice.
Vulnerability is something that I think most would say they’re slightly terrified of. But somehow, speaking fears and hurts, though vulnerable, doesn’t feel nearly as vulnerable as speaking words to someone, to accurately describe what they mean to me and how deeply I love them. Yet those words that we speak to one another are the ones that are most significant, most important.
So I’m writing this letter to my dear husband in hopes that you will be encouraged to find the words, whether spoken or written, for someone in your life whether is a husband, wife, sister brother, mother, father, son, daughter, or even a dear friend, to speak truth and life into them and to let them know how deeply they are loved by you.
To my darling Husband,
Happy 3rd wedding anniversary my dear.
In so many ways I can’t believe we’ve been married for 3 years. In some ways it seems like we’re just beginning and in others it feels like we’ve lived a lifetime together.
On that wintry afternoon in early March, when giant soft snow flakes gently floated down out of the sky, we stood at the altar in a chapel and pledged our lives to one another, to love another for the rest of our lives. I meant every word of those vows and I know you meant every word of your vows to me. But it’s been in the years since that we’ve gotten to live out those vows, to come to find what it truly means to love one another, to give ourselves up for one another.
Last year we handed over our phones, reported off for night rounds and hopped in a cab. Speaking broken mandarin, we tried to navigate our way through the new city we found ourselves living in, to celebrate 2 years together over Chinese barbeque (who knew the Chinese were master chefs when it comes to barbeque?)
We sat across that table from one another eating spicy meat on skewers on the cusp of a year that would change us radically, that would wreck us and our marriage in the best and worst ways. I think we had some sense that our lives would never in all time be the same, but I don’t think we really knew. How could we have known?
Looking back on this past year of our marriage, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t go back and do it again but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. We grew apart in a thousand ways. We were broken, shattered in ways that made me wonder if there was ever hope of being mended. Some days the vows we spoke to one another on that wintry afternoon seemed to mock us as we failed one another and hurt one another deeply again and again.
But love, it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:7)
That is what we learned of love, if I could sum it up, this past year.
The richness of a love like that is unparalleled.
The sweetness of a love like that is something I never knew before you.
Everyday I wake up I feel a deep sense of gratitude because I am loved by you.
You are my person J.
You are my absolute favorite person in this world and I still can’t believe that I got to marry you.
Out of all of our wild adventures together, you my dear and our love together is the greatest adventure of my life.
I love you more than words could ever say,
Mer